Hear ye, hear ye…gentlemen of the world. Bumsville is eager to announce that there has recently been a much anticipated opening in our foyer. As much as we will miss our previous bachelor we are VERY excited to see what is new to come to our doorsteps.
We are now accepting ONLY serious candidates who are fully applicable to Bumsville’s standards. The bitches of Bumsville will be fully dedicated and hard at work on their search to find the next “Bumsville Bachelor”! This is the chance of a lifetime gentlemen, so please take advantage of this opportunity.
Here we post an exclusive application to those who are interested in fulfilling this position.
It is mandatory for potential applicants to include the following:
• one headshot
• two full body shots
• completed posted questionnaire
• and a short essay stating what impact you can make on Bumsville
Requirements include at least 3 of the following:
• culinary experience i.e.
can make dinner for THREE hungry bitches
• similar eating habits i.e.
participating in late night binges
• comedic qualities i.e.
can make a bitch laugh
• preferable manly physique
• must be taller than the smallest bitch in the house i.e.
• no pansies allowed
• acceptance towards feminine tendencies and lack there of
• no baggage
• able to contribute to household’s electronic collection i.e.
communal television and computer
• handyman skills
Questionnaire (Please copy and paste into reply)
Date of Birth
Boxers or briefs
How many showers do you take in a week
Do you wipe front to back or back to front
Do you believe in Santa
Favorite TV show
Favorite thing about Bumsville and the bitches
Goodluck! The “Bumsville Bitches” look forward to those who apply and are thrilled to see who will become the next “Bumsville Bachelor”!
The Bumsville Bitches